Will you love me when i'm old and wrinkled?
Of course i do.
I come from a family of long livers. My dad had a liver three feet long.
Policeman: Did you get the number of the woman who knocked you over?
Pedestrian: No, but i'd recognise that laugh anywhere.
I broke my leg in two places - Sheffield and Wolverhampton
Mum: Awww poor Leona, did the bee sting you?
Leona: (sobbing) Yes
Mum: Lets put some cream on it then
Leona: Don't be silly! It'll be miles away by now!