Contributions (854) Participating (1)

Barney: Hi, have you met me?

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I always look drop dead, stone-cold amazing...unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned, and cold.

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I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk!

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Article 147: If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back

*Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy

*Exception: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week)

*Exception: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back

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Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.

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Barney Stinson always gets the yes.

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High five. -Dude we are in a funeral. - Oh sorry low sacred five

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we're building a giant snowman in the park, it's gonna be LEGENDARY!! snow suit up!

how i met your mother

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(to Ted) I penguin-suited up for you!

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Barney: "Ted, I'm gonna teach you, how to live. Lesson 1: lose your goatee, it doesn't go well with your suit." Ted: "I'm not wearing a suit." Barney: "Lesson 2: get a suit!"

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"With Great Penis Comes Great Responsibilityā€¯ - Barney Stinson

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The World is going to come to an end tonight. Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. Bro-pocalypse Now... Bro-Mageddon

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